he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
