Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
