doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
