As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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