Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
