im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
