i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
