Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
