are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
This house was built for laser tag.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
