soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
