New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you win again, gameday.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
