I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
