i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
