Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
