Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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