I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
