Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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