Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize