your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
