I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
