i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
