WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
