I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
PANTIES FOUND
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