i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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