I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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