So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize