I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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