hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
