Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
