You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
