My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
