It's Friday. Sex?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
