just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
