Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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