does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
