he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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