What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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