hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is the high leading the old right now
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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