he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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