I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize