Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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