I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
