New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
