trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
