I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
