People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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