Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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