I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
