I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
