nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
