i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
