i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You don't make any sense
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