is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
