I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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