oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
