Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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