is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize