I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
