Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
