Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She's the barista slut.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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