and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
