DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
